Aggressive Vs Assertive

There is a theory that aggression is a positive and encouraged characteristic for hockey players. I think it is absurd and by no means meant to be a part of hockey. Assertiveness on the other hand, I encourage and believe is an essential characteristic for elite hockey players.

I come to this conclusion because aggression is defined as a behavior with the intent to harm or injure a living organism. The literature defines two kinds of aggression:

Hostile Aggression - the primary goal of the behavior is to inflict physical or psychological harm. Example: I hate that player, so I am going to hurt him.

Instrumental Aggression – the behavior is a stepping stone to a nonaggressive primary goal. Example: I am going to hurt their top player so we can win the game.

Not what I think the sport of hockey had in mind and hopefully not encouraged characteristics for hockey players.

The key distinction between aggression and assertiveness falls within the intent behind the behavior. Assertiveness involves no intent to cause harm. Some examples to illustrate what I would encourage and call assertiveness include:

- Making a hard hit to send a message that I’m going to play assertive (often confused with intimidation, but if done assertively not aggressively, it is more to do with setting a tone or a standard)

- Pushing and/or stick checking to win a puck battle

- Hitting a player because you want to make sure he falls down, giving you more time and space

In being assertive it is also crucial to be aware and choose appropriate behaviors. For example, if you want to send a message that you are going to be playing assertive all game, this does not validate a hit from behind. A hit from behind is likely to result in injury, consequently choosing this behavior to send your message, is choosing harm as a secondary intention. The rules of the game aid in separating appropriate from inappropriate behaviors.

Simply put, if you are staying within the rules of the game, not intending to harm and are playing physical then you are being assertive, not aggressive.

Consequently, this brings us to the idea of creating an environment that promotes assertiveness, not aggression. The factors that shape the environment around assertiveness and aggression are our authoritative figures such as parents and coaches and the social atmosphere created by teammates and peers.

My tip for creating this environment is for coaches, parents, teammates and peers to intend to promote assertiveness and not aggression, especially in times of frustration when aggression is most likely to occur, these are known as “Coachable Moments.” During the times when a player is losing, receiving unfair officiating, being embarrassed, in physical pain or playing below their capability are the times where the guidance and influence they receive are the most important.

Guidance could include keeping winning in perspective, teaching non-harmful conflict resolution skills, or merely a reminder of appropriate behaviors and to be assertive, not aggressive. Simple, but in a sport where so much aggression has been so lightly punished or even praised and promoted, it is much needed.